10 signs your partner is too clingy and here's how to address it respectfully

If this sounds familiar to you, it’s important for you to analyse their behaviour and assess if it aligns with your comfort levels and personal space. Let’s take a look at a few indicators that might suggest your partner is exhibiting clingy behaviour.

10 signs to look for in your partner

They don’t give you personal space

Clingy partners struggle to respect boundaries and personal space. They find it challenging to give you your alone time and always insist on being around you even when you want to spend some time with yourself. This often affects the relationship severely as you might feel suffocated by their constant presence.

They keep a check on your social media activities 

If your partner always confronts you about your social media activities, they might be keeping an eye on you. This often suggests their clinginess and insecurity. This behaviour is the result of their constant fear of losing you and their internal conflicts of not feeling good enough for you in the relationship.

They constantly want your attention

No matter how much love and attention you shower upon your partner, if they keep demanding your attention all the time, it’s a clear sign that they are clingy. They almost forbid you from redirecting your attention elsewhere, even when it’s essential. Sometimes they might even manipulate you and make you feel guilty if you prioritise others, including your family and friends. This behaviour is very toxic and you need to talk to them as soon as possible.

Their world revolves around you 

You have a clingy partner if their entire life revolves around you and they always try to merge your life into theirs, leaving no scope for individuality. You must have noticed them frequently cancelling plans with their friends to be with you and they don’t care much about their own interests and hobbies either as they fear not being good enough for you and will do everything in their capacity to live up to the image of the perfect partner in your eyes.

They keep on asking for reassurance 

While it’s completely normal to ask for reassurance from your partner in the relationship, in order to get clarity of how they feel for you, persistent requests for reassurance can be very exhausting. Irrespective of you expressing your feelings to them a number of times, it never seems sufficient for them. This behaviour is the result of their insecurities and self-doubt.

They’re excessively physically affectionate

Even though physical intimacy is an integral part of the romantic relationship, if your partner constantly wants PDA or walks around holding hands all the time, it might get irritating. Everyone has different comfort levels and varied tolerance to physical touch, so if it is causing any sort of tension, consider having a conversation about it.

They feel insecure around your friends 

Clinginess often stems from deep-rooted insecurities and self-doubt. You must have noticed your partner acts differently around your friends, especially around the attractive ones. It can be due to their triggered insecurities and constant fear that you will find someone better than them and they will eventually lose you.

They get mad when you make plans with others 

It’s very common that your partner, especially if they’re clingy, will get upset if you make plans with your friends or family, which don’t involve them. This is because they want your undivided attention even though you’ve spent the whole day with them. They also constantly try to manipulate you with sweet talk like ‘I am worried about what you will do there without me’. When you try to explain that you want some time for yourself, they might make you feel guilty for wanting personal time or worse, they even start a fight over this. This is why it’s extremely important to maintain boundaries even in the relationship. 

They tend to tag along everywhere 

Imagine a child following you everywhere, not letting you have your own space, and insisting to take them wherever you go, sounds annoying right? Be it a parent or a partner, everyone requires a break from life and deserves to enjoy moments of solitude. However, clingy partners fail to understand these boundaries and might even show up uninvited to the plans purely to spend more time with you or with an agenda to check up on you. This kind of behaviour can be hurtful to the other person in the relationship and can cause trust issues. 

They expect quick replies and callbacks

If your phone constantly buzzes with multiple calls and messages from your partner, it can be a significant sign of their clingy behaviour. Many people even consider this as a red flag. Clinginess and controlling behaviour often go hand in hand. While checking up on you out of concern is a sweet gesture, clingy partners often feel the urge to know what their partners are up to all the time. This behaviour is extremely irritating and needs to be addressed when required.

How to address your partner’s clingy behaviour without offending them

Handle with care

Clinginess usually stems from insecurity, anxiety, low self-esteem or even abandonment issues, thus making it a sensitive matter. It is important to handle it respectfully avoiding their triggers. Also, their clinginess might link back to their childhood trauma or bad previous relationship experiences. More often than not, many individuals aren’t even aware of their behaviour and the discomfort that it causes. So, you need to handle this with utmost care as you don’t want to hurt them.

Have an open conversation 

When you start feeling suffocated in the relationship because of their constant presence in your life, it becomes almost necessary to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about it. Rather than blaming and attacking them for your discomfort, which will lead to arguments, try to have a clear conversation addressing how you feel about their behaviour.

Avoid using the word ‘clingy’

As the word ‘clingy’ has a negative connotation, using it to describe their behaviour or personality, might come across as insulting. So, to avoid conflicts, it is advisable to address their clinginess in a subtle manner, without hurting their feelings. You may try to remind them few incidences where you felt overwhelmed or irritated due to their certain actions. This approach will help you navigate the conversation without causing conflicts.