20 Cringe-Worthy Stories From Parents Whose Kids Walked In On Them Having Sex

One of the toughest challenges of becoming a parent is not losing your identity as a couple. Date nights, make-out sessions, and, of course, sex become a lot harder to engage in spontaneously as kids do everything they can to ruin a romantic moment. (Frankly, it's amazing anyone ends up with more than one.) The trick, as these couples show, is to keep your wits — and clothes — about you and have a good sense of humor. And remember, eventually they'll grow up and worry about you walking in on their intimate moments — payback can be a sweet, sweet bitch.

1. Call It a Tickle Fight

"We thought we got lucky one night when our two kids went to bed early, but 10 minutes later, our five-year-old daughter burst through the door while we were 'celebrating,' scared about an owl hooting outside her window. (For the record, it was an actual owl — not us.) My husband jumped up and ran to the bathroom in embarrassment, and I told her we were having a tickle fight. 'Why are you having a tickle fight without your jammies on?' she asked. I replied, 'Because it tickles more without our jammies!'" —Dawn C., 38, Rancho Cordova, CA

2. Laugh It Off

"My husband and I were on vacation in Palm Springs with our two sons, then 8 and 10. After a few glasses of wine one night, we popped the kids in front of a movie, shut the door to our adjoining room, and started fooling around. The sex was so good — vacation sex always is — and we were really going for it. Well, apparently, my younger son walked in — we didn't notice — and then ran back to tell his brother, who came in next to check it out. It must have been a pretty shocking scene: It was hot, so we were outside of the covers fully exposed. I got dressed and walked into their room, where they were giggling and pretending to watch TV. Finally, my older son said, 'I'll never get that image out of my head.' I was so mortified! I told them that I knew we were all embarrassed, and after a few minutes we were able to laugh it off. Now our boys are 20 and 22 years old, and they tease us about it to this day. I jokingly tell them, 'Well, at least you saw your mom and dad at their best!'" —Lori B., 49, Los Angeles, CA

3. If You Fail Once, Try Again

"My husband and I got caught twice in the same day! We were having a very flirty Saturday, so when our four-year-old daughter glued herself in front of Blue's Clues,we ran up to our bedroom for some adults-only action. We didn't have a bedroom door at the time (it's a long renovation story), and a few minutes later I saw her peeking in at us. Thankfully, we were covered with blankets, and we just stopped and sent her back downstairs. A couple hours later she went down for a nap, so we ran up to our room to finish what we had begun earlier. Right when things were starting to get good, I heard from the doorway, 'Mommy, I'm awake.' That was it — I told my husband that he wasn't getting any until we had a door. He hung one that night!" —Anne A., 22, Vernon, CT

4. Tell Her She's Dreaming

"When my daughter was three, she walked into our bedroom and asked, 'Mommy, are there wild animals in here? I can hear them!' We told her, 'No, honey, you must have been dreaming.' I don't think she saw anything, because it was the middle of the night and our lights were turned off, but it still makes me and my husband laugh to this day." —Dafna M., 38, Denver

5. Don't Talk With Your Mouth Full

"When my 11-year-old daughter walked in on us, we had already had discussions about the birds and the bees so she definitely knew the basics of sex. But nothing could have prepared her — or us — for when she caught me with my mouth full, so to speak. I knew it grossed her out, but I felt that I owed her the truth about what I was doing, so I sat her down and told her what oral sex was. It was so awkward, but I'd rather have her hear it from me than from one of her friends." —Cindy F., 37, Tulsa, OK

6. Keep the Noise Down

"When my oldest daughter was 15, I woke up one morning to find three text messages from her. At 11:44 p.m.: 'You've officially scarred me for life.' Then, at 11:48 p.m.: 'I could hear you and dad all the way in my room...that's NOT something I want to wake up to.' Then, at 11:58 p.m.: 'Turn a radio on or something next time.' Talk about horrifying. Sorry, honey!" —Julie H., 37, Tracy, CA

7. Blame It On the Laundry

"My husband and I were having 'play time' one night after the kids were asleep — or at least I thought they were asleep. When it was over, my five-year-old daughter knocks on the door. We scramble to cover up and I tell her to come in. In her sweetest little voice, she says, 'Mommy, the washing machine is done.' Confused, I tell her that I don't know what she's talking about. I feel the bed shaking and look back to find my husband doing his best to stifle a laugh. Then it dawned on me: she must have heard the thumping from the headboard hitting the wall. I quickly said, 'Oh yeah. I forgot I was washing, um, socks tonight. Thank you for letting me know. Go back to bed sweetie.' From that point on, our code word for sex was 'washing socks.'" —Tammy M., 27, Jackson, MS

8. Don't Eat Late At Night

"One night, my husband and I were getting romantic and, at one point, we wandered to the kitchen sans clothes to get a drink. We didn't really worry about it because the kids were small. As he was getting into the fridge, I got down on my knees and started giving him a blow job. Next thing I know, I hear a squeaky little voice and, with my mouth still full, turn my head and am staring at eye level with my two-year-old son. I'm just grateful he was too young to have any idea of what was going on or to have any memory (AKA long-term psychological damage) of it." —Melissa R., 32, Riverside, CA

9. Embrace the Nightmare

"My husband and I were in the middle of it one evening when my eight-year-old burst into our room. Apparently my enthusiastic vocalization led him to believe I was having a nightmare, and he wanted to come wake me up and tell me everything was okay just like I do for him. In hindsight it really was quite sweet, although we were too shocked to appreciate it at the time." —Jess T., 29, Woodbridge, VA

10. Say You Were Looking for the Light Bulbs

"After a long day of putting up holiday decorations, my husband and I were snuggled up in the living room, having a glass of wine and admiring how pretty everything looked. We got a little tipsy and decided it would be fun to get busy under the Christmas tree. Well, our living room has no door to shut, and when we finished we saw our youngest child, then three, standing there watching us. 'Daddy was just helping mommy look for broken light bulbs,' my husband stammered. Our daughter shrugged, then turned around and walked back to her bed. We still laugh about it and wonder where exactly she thought daddy was looking for broken light bulbs." —Jane P., 33, Vancouver, WA

[pullquote align="C"]"My daughter definitely knew the basics of sex. But nothing could have prepared her — or us — for when she caught me with my mouth full, so to speak."[/pullquote]

11. Censor Your Kissing

"We were having a little make-out session on the couch when, all of a sudden, our two-year-old's face was right up beside ours and she tried to get in on the action. I spent the next couple of minutes dodging her open-mouthed attempts to kiss me. Now we keep anything more than a peck behind closed doors." —Bekky C., 25, Seattle, WA

12. Lock the Bathroom Door

"I was taking a shower one Saturday afternoon and my husband decided to join my for a little impromptu shower sex. Our kids were all playing in their rooms, and I assumed my husband had locked the door behind him. That is, until our 4-year-old and her best friend marched into the bathroom. 'What are you guys doing?' she asked. 'Helping each other get clean,' I answered. She thought about that for a moment and said, 'Okay, but can you make us a snack first?' Then she shoved a package of crackers, a jar of peanut butter, and a butter knife through the shower curtain." —Jenny A., 36, Layton, UT

13. Be a Little Sneakier

"Our youngest, who is 9, still loves sleeping with us in our bed. We love the cuddles, but we recently realized it was probably time to reconsider the arrangement when she ever-so-politely told us that it would be fine if I moved her to the outside edge at night so we could have 'mom and dad time.' Apparently she'd not always been as asleep as we thought." —Charlene M., 40, Maple Valley, WA

14. Stay Aware of Your Surroundings

"One morning, my robe and underwear were still on the floor next to the bed where they landed after a late-night sex session. My 5-year-old daughter wandered in to say good morning and asked why I'd taken my underwear off in the middle of the night. 'Did you have an accident, too?' she asked. I said, 'No, but you did? Why didn't you come get me?' Her response: 'I did, but you were busy so I left.' My husband turned bright red, and to this day we have no idea when she came in or what she saw." —Marcy D, 38, Redlands, CA

15. Try Not to Kick Them Out

"I'm in the habit of leaving my bedroom door open all the time so I can hear what the kids are up to. One night my husband and I were getting busy and we heard a little voice say, 'Moooom?' I'd forgotten to shut the door, of course, and our 2-year-old was standing there looking confused. He'd come because he needed to go potty and needed me to help him. My husband was so surprised that he jumped up and slammed the door in his face, yelling, 'You're a big boy now! Pee by yourself!' So my son did just that — on the floor outside our door. Then he started wailing, which made me upset, and then my husband gave up. Needless to say, everyone went back to bed a little sad that night." —Kellie L., 38, Baltimore, MD

16. Try Not to Be So Loud

"When my husband and I headed to our room to enjoy a late night together, we assumed our 5-year-old daughter was asleep. But the next morning my husband got up first and found a folded up note that had been slid under the door. Our daughter wrote that she had heard us 'arguing' at night and lectured us that we should 'treat each other nicely even when we're mad'. But the killer was the hand-drawn picture, complete with my husband on top and me looking very 'angry.' Apparently she'd come in at some point and left without us even seeing her. Also now I have to wonder, is that what my O face really looks like?" —Liz D., 26, Carlsbad, CA

17. Know That the Minivan Might Not Be Safe

"Privacy is hard to get at our house, so sometimes my husband and I will sneak out to the minivan to get some alone time. Things were just getting hot and heavy in the backseat (don't judge!) when we heard a tapping on the window. I looked up to see our son peering in through the window anxiously. I was on top so pretty much eye level with him. 'What do you need?' I asked through the glass, trying to act like it was no big deal I was hanging out in the van without my shirt on. 'I can't find my homework, can I come look for it?' My husband was trying to slip down between the seats to hide, which was making me laugh. 'No, I'll get it for you, just go back inside,' I said. 'OK, well tell dad I think he's sitting on it,' he answered and walked back inside. And it was true. We'd been having sex on top of his vocabulary list. To this day we joke about what kind of new words he might have learned from that!" —Megan P., 38, Louisville, KY

18. Don't Assume They're Sleep Walking

"One evening, our kindergarten-age son wandered into our bedroom while we were having sex. It was a little surprising but my wife and I assumed he was sleepwalking. It's an issue he's had for years and we've learned the best thing to do is just take him back to bed as quietly as possible. If we wake him up, he'll freak out. So I didn't say anything, threw a blanket around my waist and walked him back to bed. We thought nothing of it until a couple of days later when he said out of the blue, 'Daddy, why did you have your pee-pee in mommy's butt?' Apparently he was awake!" —Jack R., 39, Denver, CO

19. When in Doubt, Turn It Into a Life Lesson

"Our teenager sleeps in the basement bedroom that is directly below our bedroom. Because of this, my husband and I try really hard to keep it quiet if we decide to have sex while he's home, even if we think he's asleep. Apparently, our plan wasn't working as well as we thought becayse one morning my son asked to talk to me privately and mentioned he could hear us through the heating vents. He was trying so hard to be grown-up and polite but it was clear he was super embarrassed as it had been happening for quite a while. 'Why didn't you come tell me sooner?' I asked. 'Oh, I tried,' he said. 'And now there are some things I will never be able to un-see!' Just when I thought I couldn't be more embarrassed! Finally I answered, 'Well, at least you know your dad and I love each other very much. It's really important to a marriage to have a good sex life.' At least I turned it into a good life lesson? Maybe? I bought him a pair of earplugs." —Sara R., 44, San Diego, CA

20. Lock Every Door

"My best friend lives across a gully from me. We're so close that my kids will sometimes just walk in her house without waiting for her to come to the door. One day, my kindergartner went over to say hello and visit her 'auntie' — the same time my friend's husband came home for lunch. They had decided to have a spontaneous sexy moment in the bedroom. They had just finished when my daughter's cute face appeared at the door to their room. Fortunately, my friend was somewhat covered and had a sense of humor about it. But we did both wonder at what moment, exactly, my daughter had showed up at the door. My daughter never said a thing about it." —Lillian B., 33, Riverside, CA